


The Next Right Thing

by inlovewithimpossibility



Series: cerys' s8 episode codas [9]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Family Angst, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-19 04:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22271530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithimpossibility/pseuds/inlovewithimpossibility
Summary: A cabin. A wife. A teenager. A baby.Felicity Smoak is shaken to her core after the events of Crisis but she must come together for her son and daughter now. For Oliver, and for the true reason he sacrificed so much.
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, William Clayton & Felicity Smoak, William Clayton & Oliver Queen
Series: cerys' s8 episode codas [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1518755
Comments: 36
Kudos: 185





	The Next Right Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, this is an extremely angst one-shot I wrote that ended up being quite cathartic to me after my anger at the last two episodes of Crisis last night. I hope it may have the same effect on some of you <3 
> 
> I'm choosing to remain positive that we shall see Oliver Queen get the ending he deserves before the show is through but last night was certainly not it and the obtuse lack of acknowledgement of the family he left behind is what this fic is attempting to rectify <3

Felicity feels like she’s floating.

Not the good kind of floating, like when your joy consumes you so fully that you feel like your feet lift off the floor and you’re airborne from the sheer amount of happiness within you.

No, this is the other kind. The kind where you’re stuck, so concentrated on the bubbling feelings of nauseous and an inexplicable weight in your chest that the person aware of the movements around you feels completely separate to your own being.

The weight seems to beat heavily as Felicity breathes, her eyes watching the shapes moving on the TV but not listening or paying attention. She knows she should concentrate, force herself to be attentive. She’s not the only one in the room and her company needs her.

It’s impossible, however, for her to think of anything other than Oliver and the look on his face the last time she saw him. She can’t shake how scared he had looked, how terrified he had been to turn and walk out the door, leaving them all alone. She had made him a promise, a vow to find him no matter what but how can she do that when there is no him to find?

The thought of never looking into his beautiful eyes again, never again holding him in her arms, or seeing the way his entire face would light up whenever he looked upon their children… it’s that which bears upon her chest, the idea that she will never again have the hope that comes with the thought of seeing him. It pulls her down and roots her to the spot she’s sat like her own personal gravity than she cannot shake. 

The harsh sting of reality is starting to settle in now, coursing through every inch of Felicity’s body until there’s no part of her that she can escape to. It’s odd, she supposes she’s been living in a daze since Oliver left, taking each day as it comes with the assumption that it wouldn’t go on forever. Now, she has to face the reality that her life for the last four months could be her life for the rest of her days.

A single mother to two children, working as hard as she can on her company whilst trying her best to maintain her own personal mental health. It’s been a nightmare and the prospect of it being her entire future is daunting.

The thought that one day she’d get to show Oliver how much taller William’s grown or how Mia can almost walk now has been one of the only things guiding her. She’s been thinking of how it might feel to one day feels his lips slant against her own again, the two of them coming home to one another as they finally claim their payoff for all they’ve sacrificed. It’s been her light at the end of the tunnel, her own personal north star.

Now the night is dark, the sky bleak, and the thought of finding a way to rise from this figurative rock-bottom seems impossible. 

Suddenly, the loud crash of the coffee table turning over and the few items that had been resting on the surface tumbling to the floor makes Felicity jump out of her skin, forcing her concentration back into the room.

She looks up to see William, his face contorted in angry frustration as he kicks his bare foot against the plush under cushion of the armchair and his sister’s loud cries add to the sudden cacophony of noise as her brother’s actions frighten the baby.

Felicity instinctively reaches for the baby from where she’s sat on the couch next to her, holding her close and rocking her by routine to try and calm her as she looks over at where her son is stood.

“This is bullshit! Utter bullshit!” William cries, his voice shaking as he gestures towards where the president is still talking on the TV.

Felicity agrees with him, even without having heard the words she’s speaking. The whole thing is a farce and she only agreed to putting it on because William wanted to. The boy has been so checked out since Digg’s visit yesterday that any form of expression from him was welcomed by Felicity.

“William…” Felicity sighs heavily, unsure of what to say or do. She cannot make this better with words and she feels as helpless as she has since Digg arrived, the foreboding expression on his face telling Felicity what she thinks she may have already known. Her feelings have been practically impossible to decipher but the failure has stuck its arm out clearly as she’s watched her teenage son wander around in the zombie-like state she’s also so clearly been stumbling around in.

She holds Mia to her as the baby finally settles, curling up against her, and William rounds on her, his face a fit of anger as he gestures wildly towards the TV with his jaw clenched in such a familiar matter that it almost sends a sob through her body.

“No, they’re glazing over his sacrifice as if he was just doing what was necessary! He died, Felicity, he…” The boy freezes halfway through his sentence, choking on his words as he finally speaks the ugly truth aloud for the first time. All Felicity can do is watch helplessly as it all seems to suddenly dawn on him and he visibly crumbles, the angry tears that have been building in his eyes for the past hour finally spilling as a sob wracks him to the floor.

“Oh, sweetheart. C’mere.” She moves quickly, placing Mia safely in the crib before sinking to the floor next to her son and wrapping him tightly in her arms. William goes willingly, nuzzling his head into her shoulder as his sobs only grow louder and Felicity holds him tightly, rocking him back and forth as she does with Mia when awakes crying in the night.

This isn’t hunger, or gas, or something she can merely soothe with her touch but it’s something, and as William sinks into her arms, his hands clinging to her t-shirt as he finally releases his emotions, Felicity is glad that they at least have each other.

Here, on the floor of the cabin in which she and Oliver decided to make their home with her arms wrapped tightly around her son, Felicity allows herself to sink into her own grief. It feels like the floor might swallow them whole as she and William desperately cling to each other, the only thing keeping them afloat as they both cry enough tears to create the need for a raft. Felicity truly cannot tell who grips who tighter as they both finally draw their comfort from the one person who might understand the depth of their pain.

It’s impossible to know how long they sit there, the two of them wrapped around each other as their bodies shake with cries for the man they called husband and father.

Finally, their cries subside slightly and Felicity feels the guilt on her shoulders lift a little. They’ve helped each other, she and her son, and her heart glows with affection for the boy she now calls her son. It’s a welcome respite from the weight of the last days, months really, and Felicity reaches out as they pull away slightly, brushing her fingers through William’s hair.

“Can we turn that off?” William blinks tearily, looking towards the TV and Felicity manages a pathetic watery chuckle as she reaches out to yank the plug from the outlet, muting and blackening the screen.

“Done.” She confirms, keeping her eyes on William as the boy stares off into space just behind her, his eyes glazed over. Frowning, she gently cups his cheek and forces his gaze onto hers, rubbing her thumb over his cheek when he complies. “Hey, look at me, we don’t need their empty words. We knew your father, you and me, and none of them can take that away from us.”

Her words have a fierce determination behind them that even Felicity has no idea how she can muster with how heavy her limbs feel. For William, however, it seems she can pull strength from the farthest reaches of her body and she sighs as William shakes his head, swallowing a thick lump in his throat.

“I just hate the thought of him all alone out there, dying without any of us there. He deserved more than that.” William mutters under his breath, barely loud enough for Felicity to hear but she does and her heart clenches suddenly like a brace tightening harshly. To know that William, who has known so much loss himself, that this is the _second_ parent he’s had to say goodbye to and his main concern is still how Oliver felt as he went.

He truly has a heart far beyond his years.

Felicity swallows a lump of his own, William’s statement one that has been playing on her own mind since she heard the news. If she just could’ve done something, she might have at least been able to be there when he passed to ease his suffering at least a little. To know that he had died looking upon the face of someone he loved and who loved him in return, the kind of unconditional love they share, would settle her to know that he at least might have had some peace.

But she knows Oliver, and she knows that his every last second were filled with worry over her and the kids and whether he’d done enough to save them and ensure their happiness.

It maddens her to know that he still couldn’t realise that what they need to be happy really is merely him.

She takes a deep breath, nodding her head as she caresses William’s face again with her thumb. “He did. You’re right. He deserved so much more than everything he got. He deserved the world.”

“Instead he gave his life for the world.” William bites and Felicity melts, nodding her head as she draws William closer again.

“Oh, sweetheart…” She sighs, holding him close as William leans his head against his shoulder.

“They didn’t even mention us. A wife and two children and all they said was that they appreciated his sacrifice.” He states bitterly, his eyes narrowing at the silent and blank TV screen, and Felicity hums, lifting her hand to his hair.

“I know, my love, I know.” She replies, knowing they’re empty words but praying they might bring her son some solace. Felicity takes a deep breath, trying to push back the wave of nausea that hits her at the thought of the public showing her husband such disrespect. “But hey, you and I, we have each other and Mia and we can show the world how much of a hero he was. More than that, we can show them how good of a man he was.”

She finds the words more easily than she expected, knowing that they’re not just a comfort to William but something that she truly believes. The world may have seen her husband for the mask that he wore but Felicity loved him for so much more than that.

“He was so much more than his mask,” William confirms and Felicity nods with a gentle hum.

“Exactly, and it’s our job to make sure that the world knows that now.” She tells him, thinking that she would like to open up more about the person behind the mask, behind the ex-billionaire, ex-mayor. She wants the world to know who _Oliver_ was, so that they might fully understand his sacrifice. 

William, however, looks over Felicity’s shoulder to where his sister rests in her crib and his voice shakes as he speaks, his voice shaky but full of promise for his baby sister. “And that she knows that now.”

Felicity feels her eyes fill with tears once more as she remembers that her daughter will grow up without any memories of her father.

“He loved you so much, my sweet boy. You and your sister were his greatest accomplishments.” She tells William, drawing his attention back to her and Felicity watches as the boy takes in a shuddering breath with teary eyes, his gaze clearly thoughtful and nostalgic.

“He told me once, when the two of you were getting back together just after I moved to Star City, that being a parent was like growing an entirely different heart outside your body and then allowing it to walk free in the world but that loving someone in the way he loved you, was like tearing your own heart in half and handing it over to another person for safe-keeping. He said that if you were lucky, that person might give you half their heart back and then you become whole with each other.”

“He could be quite the poet.” Felicity chuckles through the tears that have slid down her cheeks at William’s words. It’s one of things she knows no one ever would have imagined about Oliver, but he could be quite the romantic wordsmith when he wanted to be. William’s words are ones she’s heard Oliver speak herself before, just after Mia was born, and he’d often refer to her as ‘his little heart’. It’s a sentiment she always loved and it brings her solace now as she cups William’s cheek fondly. “Well, if he’s right, then I suppose it’s a good thing I have two extra hearts wandering around the world.”

William melts a little, nuzzling into her hand, and Mia takes it as her cue to start crying once more.

“Someone’s feeling left out.” The teenager comments, his voice far lighter than it has been for the rest of their conversation. He astounds Felicity as he stops her from getting up, rising to his feet himself. “I got her.”

Felicity watches, continuing to cry as William lifts Mia into his arms with the tenderest of care, bouncing her a little as he carries the baby back over to sit back down on the floor next to Felicity.

“The three of us, kid,” Felicity tells him with a nod full of promise as he places Mia carefully between them and William shudders as he nods, cuddling close.

“The three of us.” 

And it’s not okay. Nothing ever will be fully okay again. Without Oliver, the world is something for Felicity to stumble through but she doesn’t have to be alone. She has William, her sweet boy who has known such darkness but retains such light, and Mia, her darling girl who is already so much like her father despite not being able to walk or talk yet. They are what she must go on for and Felicity hates it but one step at a time, she thinks they might be able to make their way towards a future.

For Oliver and for his sacrifice.

All she can do now is love him through his memory and pray that one day, she’ll be able to hold fast to her promise and find him again in a different sort of world.

With their kids by her side and the memory of his love, Felicity knows she will honour him until her own last breath. She loves him with everything in her…

… _and that is so much bigger than the friggin’ universe._


End file.
